Bacon Through The Ages

In the Stone Age, meat was a sign of power and physical dominance.

Meat is so great. Why is it so great. It is so tasty.  

Assert yourself as top of the foodchain! King of the Creatures!

 -Baconface, 120000 B.C.
In the Middle Ages, rich people were fat. They also ate much meat.That is all there is to say.

The power as your fangs sever the animal flesh!

The rough brawn you feel as your choppers gnaw on meat!

The carnal desire as you slaughter your victim fresh!

The delight you find in this scrumptious treat!

- Lord Fatté de Baconface, 1442


Having considered the most important historical figures, let's review what we say about meat today:

This cute young fellow reminds me of a mammoth for some strange reason . He shall become rich, fat and powerful. If his heart doesn't give up on him in his 20's.You so tasty!

Carnivores are great. Just look at all these practical applications.

But seriously (rule 412), in the future:

Go vegan. Don't eat fur.

The Art of Losing

Humans are confronted with failure on a daily sporadically updated basis. Missing appointments, losing contests, and messing up.
Thinking about this, what should our reaction to these mishaps be?

• We could accept them and move on. Realizing them, but then forgetting them in order to focus on the future.
• Or you could analyze them, work it all out and find out reasons for your failure, in order to avoid these occasions in the future. 
• Looking for excuses is another possibility, justifying your failure to be able to live with your shortcomings. 

You lost, is it worth looking for the reasons? On the one hand, dwelling on your mistakes will either let you crash into a pit of despair (bet you didn't know where that term came from) or, on the other hand, let you learn from your mistakes. (yeah right, as if that's going to happen...) "Learning" from them might very well save you from such situations in the future. Avoiding failure, seems normal - Natural. Natural? Humans fail, it's in their nature. We have the urge to compete, to overcome obstacles and to try, not to succeed but to try. By competing, overcoming obstacles and trying, we face the possibility of failure. By learning from mistakes to circumvent these failures, aren't we going against the very fiber of our beings? (which is oh so very mysteriously woven, am I right?) Everything about you, the little habits, the subtle composure, the GINORMOUS FAILURES BAYBAY, are what define us as a person.



So on the third hand, accepting the failures, not looking for excuses and continuing your fallible existence makes you endure as the person that you are.
And also fail.
At life.
Continuously.


In the spirit of this revelation, I'll hand on to you something that will let you lose even at luck:

I used to roll the dice

feel the fear in my enemies eyes

has absolutely nothing to do with this

Now, I could come to a pointless conclusion like "In the end, everyone has to decide for himself" lopping off the last tumorous fleck of sense form this barren landscape, void of rational thought.

But I won't.

Yo Mom's Spaghettiyo

Oh unholy gods of hell what is this hellish unholy noise plaguing me? Hell Thesaurus is broken.

Remember the other day I posted that sucky-but-in-a-way-ironically-funny video about those lame douchettes? (or is it she-douches? I do not know)

Anyway, that song "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's? I see there are some hilarious and creepy variations thereof.

It's a great idea that Starbucks advertises the musicians it features in its mellifluous ambient noise, but mayhap refrain from subjecting innocuous bystanders to the cacophonous clamor of independent musical novices? (Undoubtedly Thesaurus is operating once more) 

Seriously though, the "rising young artist" was some

James Jen Erik

New Album OUT NOW: Your Eyes Are So Blue

Featuring the one-time-hits Why is the sky blue?, I'm feelin' Blue, 

and the hit single Little Blue Pill!

And before we wrap up the daily dose of sarcasm, here's a riddle:Which amateurish am I thinking of? (Hint: The name starts with Bargayott and ends with Valjusha!)

And now in utmost sincerity, this artist looks promising. I hope to hear you around a coffee shop someday. 

Douchey Diensday

Dear reader, the other day while I was watering my garden
An introduction? Oh please. SO beyond that.


Douchebags are a pretty poor excuse for a mammal. They're a pretty poor excuse for a waste of space. If I wanted to suffer their presence, I might as well listen to The Smashing Pumpkins and smack my head against a brick wall repeatedly. Same effect, "bro."


Now, from the two random people who made that funny video, you know the one... with that guy? Who gets hurt? Never mind, look at this douche-inspired musical rap. SO TRUE.


Also, it seems some of these lesser life forms are capable of (involuntary) self-irony. This douche is talking about how his underwear - which he wears - is douchy. Wow, this takes his douchebaggery to a whole new level. It's just like a double-quarter-pounder vegi-burger: Twice the amount of what you don't want. 


And finally, speaking of douches, check out Bargayott & Valjusha. Haha they so funny.
It is tuesday.

1234 love DAMMIT

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In related news, someone is feeling a sick burn.

The Missing Entry