Dear reader, the other day while I was watering my garden
An introduction? Oh please. SO beyond that.
Douchebags are a pretty poor excuse for a mammal. They're a pretty poor excuse for a waste of space. If I wanted to suffer their presence, I might as well listen to The Smashing Pumpkins and smack my head against a brick wall repeatedly. Same effect, "bro."
Now, from the two random people who made that funny video, you know the one... with that guy? Who gets hurt? Never mind, look at this douche-inspired musical rap. SO TRUE.
Also, it seems some of these lesser life forms are capable of (involuntary) self-irony. This douche is talking about how his underwear - which he wears - is douchy. Wow, this takes his douchebaggery to a whole new level. It's just like a double-quarter-pounder vegi-burger: Twice the amount of what you don't want.
And finally, speaking of douches, check out Bargayott & Valjusha. Haha they so funny.
It is tuesday.
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Dear Detective Dunstable,
ReplyDeletedo I smell a small, douchy writer's block(-> introduction)?
I just wasted 5min of my life looking at a video of two girls rapping a douchebag song. Thanks!
Still, the underpants video is hawwwt.
I'm going to take a douche now, wash my hair,
Valjusha
Not so much a douche-block as seeing introductions as an easily omitted formality. If it makes you feel better, here's a special introduction just for you, sweetie:
ReplyDelete"Dear muse of my life, let me tell you a tale of lies, deceit, love and passion. A tale where nothing is as it seems, and danger lurks around every corner. This is the story of..." You're welcome.
The spirit and lyrics of the rap speaks for themselves.
Douché.
'...This is the story of a very, very cowardly man. Attired in a crimson lined white cape, with the customary shuffling gait of a cavalryman, there emerged one fine morning, on the fourteenth of the spring month of Nissan, from the overdecked collonade between the two wings of the Palace of Herodes the Great, the Procurator of Judaea, Captain Condom.'
ReplyDeletePs: Dunstable Dienstag? More like Douchable Dumbsday.
Real douches can be found here: www.swissdouche.ch
Bargayott
Bargayott! Did you have a M.u.M. overdose? Like your comment. Waiting for your next post!
ReplyDeleteValjusha