Get the hell off my porch.

Inspirations are for losers.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Love will be something important

You know how i have a fetish for plagiarizing images with words on them. So here is one more i find makes me get really emotionally.





this has a lot of value for me. i love the hairstyle and i love how they are from the 90ies. its one of the songs i cant listen to all the time, i only save it for special occasions. So now I will post it. Argh, why is it always about life?


... And then I realized: It has nothing to do with me.


"Life moves on, and she flaps her wings."

Sunday, April 25, 2010

< A dark alley > OR < The thrilling conclusion >




< A dark alley > OR < I like my women like I like my ravens >

Cold sweat trickles down his forehead.

He stumbles down the worn cobble-stone street, pursued by an unseen pursuer, scared of being described with phrases as overused as his worn out shoes, Botticelli's, Italian, the kind you buy the day before a funeral, the funeral of a forgotten friend, forgotten like one forgets to buy shoes to match a shabby black suit, but shoes can be bought at the Italians in The Dark Alley, friends cannot - or so he thought. For everything had a price, a price he had to pay, yes; it had all started with the shoes, the money purse weighed down by a bad conscience, ...and the fickle promise of a friend.

Relentlessly they slap the pavement, the shoes do, like a delirious Jamaican slaps his bass guitar, as if they hadn't punished their runner enough and now, in a final fit of malice, let their hatred out on the entire town.He could not go on, yet he did not stop, he could not stop, the merciless pace of his shoes echoing off the dead cellars, the rotten houses and the decaying chimneys, amplified to a terrible chorus of scrapes and slaps and flaps.
Slap.
Flap.
Slap. Flap.
Slapflapslapflapslapfrap. This is the sound of the pervs on chatroul
the Raven Baroness.









Saturday, March 13, 2010

The thing you've been waiting for since Chinese democracy

PG-13: Offensive language, breathtaking imagery.
CLICK UP THERE FOR THE WHOLESOME EXPERIENCE. IF A GOD EXISTS HE WOULD NOT BE A CRANKFURTER, BUT HE SURE AS HELL WOULD LIVE OFF THEM.

SPONSORED BY A FAMOUS SCIENTOLOGIST.

It is tuesday.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Bacon, cont.


















"Bacon bits can even make bacon better."


And we all know what goes well with bacon!
That's right - Waffles.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Bacon Through The Ages

In the Stone Age, meat was a sign of power and physical dominance.
Meat is so great. Why is it so great. It is so tasty.  
Assert yourself as top of the foodchain! King of the Creatures!
 -Baconface, 120000 B.C.
In the Middle Ages, rich people were fat. They also ate much meat.That is all there is to say.
The power as your fangs sever the animal flesh!
The rough brawn you feel as your choppers gnaw on meat!
The carnal desire as you slaughter your victim fresh!
The delight you find in this scrumptious treat!
- Lord Fatté de Baconface, 1442


Having considered the most important historical figures, let's review what we say about meat today:

This cute young fellow reminds me of a mammoth for some strange reason . He shall become rich, fat and powerful. If his heart doesn't give up on him in his 20's.You so tasty!

Carnivores are great. Just look at all these practical applications.

But seriously (rule 412), in the future:
Go vegan. Don't eat fur.